Let it not be said that I’m anything other than a committed, devoted supporter of ANZAC Day and all it stands for. Indeed, it is the very depth of that commitment that brings me to writing this piece. On the other hand, it is funny how the number of people who gush and bang on about remembering our heroes on ANZAC Day far exceeds the number that show up to the Dawn Service (impressive though the numbers that do are).

Anyway, being someone with my own very definite idea about what the day means and how it should be respected, nothing irritates me more than witnessing ANZAC Day being trashed and exploited for commercial purposes. Don’t get me started on Kochie, KRuddy and Hockey’s desecration of Kokoda a few years ago – shame on you all, I shall never forgive you!!

The latest example getting on my goat (whatever that really means) is the AFL’s requisitioning of ANZAC Day to gain the high moral ground on other sporting codes, to elevate themselves in the eyes of the public, and thus to gain a better deal come time to negotiate a new broadcast rights package; a move as transparent as it is outrageous. Ok, I know that the AFL has been exploiting ANZAC Day for years. It’s Marketing 101 – position yourself alongside something universally revered and some of those warm fuzzy feelings the punters feel towards that thing will rub off on you. Just look at all those mining ads of the last year or two – all about flying doctors and making your dead parents proud, and nothing at all about, er, mining! Cringe worthy as the ‘full credit to the boys, they really played with the ANZAC spirit’ bullshit may be, it is nonetheless effective on the gushers and banger onners I mentioned above. It makes them feel like they are doing their part to commemorate our fallen heroes. This makes them feel good about themselves, which in turn makes them feel good about the AFL for transforming their sitting on their arses watching a game of footy into a profound spiritual connection with our ANZAC forefathers. And they don’t even have to get off the couch.

Maybe it’s because I’m not sufficiently interested in AFL to have noticed before, but I could not believe my eyes when I happened upon the start of the Fremantle vs Carlton AFL game on Friday 27th April. What?? Is that a catafalque party?? Huh, why is there a bugler there??? What the … he’s playing the Last Post!! Yes, it was true, the AFL were doing a re-run of ANZAC Day – TWO DAYS later! Lest we forget? – ha, give us a chance to! I don’t know whether they churned out the same tripe at each of the remaining games in the round, but I can only assume that they did. After all, if they can extend ANZAC Day by two days, why not by three or four?

How far can they possibly take this? Are we going to see the AFL have an ‘ANZAC Day(s) in July’? Hey, why not? While they are at it, why don’t they have a ‘One Day in September’ round in May? Pretend every game is a grand final? They could have a grand final parade every day of the week, in fact, twice a day – imagine the merchandise they could knock out!

My message to the AFL is simple – LEAVE ANZAC DAY ALONE. If you want to align yourself with something, why not play on Good Friday? You could have a crucifixion re-enactment, and all the players could wear fake beards and talk about playing with Holy Spirit instead of ANZAC spirit. And Easter goes on for several days already so you could really fill your boots!

Whatever you do, just leave ANZAC Day alone.